All of a sudden, abruptly it happens. The phone calls, the texting, inboxes, everything all at once. One who was not present before becomes known, you live to them, everyday they are being there. You question oneself, you become alarmed, you become scared. This is too much you say. It needs to stop.
You so pull back, you become afraid. You sweat too much. You think this person is clinging too much. You see danger. You so decide, to run away becomes the close option. Never to be seen, never to be heard, you want to get lost.
Books and all knowledge advocate for that reason, that such kind of people you should avoid. They are desperate. This viewpoint is however looking on the chased one and not the chaser. It is not looking that to all it is symbiotic. You can benefit, they can benefit. For avoidance of doubts we are talking about when one sees the other admirable and they want to date the other.
We ask what of from the chaser’s eyes? Why such a strategy? The constant reaching.
Familiarity makes you to judge things to make a choice if either hard or easy or if not nice. Let us give an example, let us take a specific clothe. You see somebody somewhere, a designer, sits down, comes up with a decision. They say this and this dimensions, this colour and this length and width will be the cloth line I will be producing.
That is all in order and perfect, however, to make it a reality, to make it a trend, they release those clothe, they make videos and images also and even engage in fashion shows so as to engage the buyers, or the market a taste of it. This gives them a hope or a doubt, a sense of familiarity, they see it too often and they become enticed. Or it is after seeing that much they make a decision, critics can come to hand and say, nope, that is the wrong direction, we do not want to see it that way. Just like that, the clothe loses out.
That is the same thinking we ought to have with people. They sort of “disturbing” you is a way of them giving themselves up at the altar. They have seen you as perfect, you are what is better to them. They want you, they approaching is giving you a chance to rate them to determine how good or bad are they. It is bringing the concept of familiarity to the core. For they know it, with familiarity, they can make mistakes. This gives you an upper chance to decide if you want them or not.
It is actually them being selfless, they are giving themselves up to be judged. Not all are like that. Being open, laying out themselves to be bare, to be analysed and to be seen their black and white. That is what they are doing.
You see being approached should actually be a happy occasion, you are being given a chance by God, an opportunity to see if there is one who is rate 10/10 to you.
For every such aspect there is also a moment when the chaser sees it fit that perhaps this is like forcing, it is sounding as though they are pinning for the chased.
There is also self respect and realisation that out there, there too is somebody who will accept the approach, will walk with an open mind and see that it is not bad, this moment of the others examination. It is one two ways beneficial. The chased has not seen the win win situation. So they too run away.
The chased then start wondering, what went wrong, why are they silent? Well, because they saw it as a waste of time, it was their offer of being self assessed that was not accepted. They put themselves out there before the rain, to only discover that it was wide open, there was never a mango tree to take shade at as the rain continued showering and await the sunshine. They so choose to go back to their homes. For there is where safety at the end is.
Of course, there must be knowing even if you a chaser, that you do it ethically, with a sense of morality in you, not to overdo it. Too much salt in food is harmful just so as too much sugar in tea is bad.
The case is rested, these are but thoughts. It came and being a free spirit, knowledge or not so knowledge ought to be shared. That is left for history to decide so.
Photo by Dan Cristian Pădureț on Pexels.